You might be someone’s manifestation

The day I arrived in Nosara, Costa Rica I was already surrendering to adventure.

My tuk tuk driver gave his three wheeled motorcycle everything he could to get us to the top of the steep hill where the central building of Blue Spirit sat- overlooking 30 acres of rainforest fringing the Pacific Ocean.

This gated paradise was only accessible to guests of wellness retreats – and between the multiple yoga groups and a full squad of exotic belly dancers – beautiful women outnumbered guys 10:1.

I set my flirty dial to 11 and prepared for a blissful departure from reality.

But to my utter surprise, just an hour later I was crying my eyes out in wild howls of grief.

“Oh… It’s going to be that kind of trip.”

A holiday from normal habits and haunts – But no simple vacation.

That first night we engaged in guided breathwork that had our whole group writhing on the floor in unrestrained primal release.

I wept for the pain of the central women in my life – both of whom had been asked to show up with incredible courage and strength in the last few months.

My daughter Hadley – with her deep fear of growing up –  whose body has suddenly been reshaped by adolescence and injuries.

Her own primal screams of protest have shaken my soul.

My partner Kayla — carrying her smoldering grief — was forced to choose between preserving her spark or fighting a losing battle to uphold the vision of the school she helped start.

(Turns out it’s easier to teach social-emotional intelligence to kids than adults.)

I felt the sadness and disappointment, caring and heartbreak swell in me.

And I tapped into the anger of Huxley, my teenage son.

The keen powerlessness of youth, colliding with an adult world so absurdly dysfunctional that it would be hilarious if it weren’t so frightening.

I found myself awash in sadness. I kept sobbing “I’m so, so sorry!”

I couldn’t protect my loved ones from their pain.

My infinite love for them was suddenly swallowed by the infinite sadness of knowing we all must die someday.

I howled and writhed and cried – in a room full of people doing the same.

We had a circle after the breath work, and everyone shared what they were going through. Heavy, heavy stuff.

After stirring up so much darkness, I was seriously worried we might all end up gloomy and brooding the rest of the trip.

But with all that energy being released, the presence that followed was other worldly.

It wasn’t a bypass. It was the reward for going all the way in.

The next days were full of meditation on the beach at sunrise. Strength and connection through advanced yoga practice. Soulful conversations over beautiful meals.

It was as if we’d all tuned in to the same frequency.

We were sovereign and powerful.

We were raw and vulnerable and real.

And we began manifesting what we wanted.

I know how this sounds — like a hippie’s fever dream — but I swear, it kept happening, with more examples than I can list!

Someone would say. “I want to see monkeys.” – And minutes later, a parade of primates would swing through the trees only feet away.

Or, “I want a sunset tonight… and a rainbow” – and voila! – the clouds parted and there were both in full intensity.

Ultimately, I desired a deeper connection with someone in my group. I led with my heart and over several days we became intimate friends.

At one point she said to me  “I think I manifested you.”

That was the twist – not only was I manifesting my desires, I was someone else’s manifestation!

This was echoed again and again. People kept saying,  “Ryan, your presence is a gift.”

Wow.

It dawned on me: “Not only am I having this full Costa Rica experience… I am part of the abundance!

I normally think I’m at the mercy of whatever happens.

But in this context it seemed that I am what’s happening, too.

Not a passenger in life — but the very engine moving it all forward!

That subtle shift changed my whole outlook. I wasn’t just reacting to life, but manifesting what I wanted it to be.

And one more plot twist:

On the way out of the jungle I found myself traveling with another member of my group who turned out to be an artist whose work I’ve admired. (I had no idea!)

One of his large pieces hangs prominently in my friend’s upscale home.

I told him,  “When I get back, I want to start painting larger pieces too.”

Surely I could manifest that… right?

I felt a wee wave of worry – what if all this manifestation magic evaporated the moment I got home, far from the jungle, back in the dusty ruts of my routine?

Well… guess what?

The DAY I got back, an artist friend (Dominique) reached out to tell me she had inherited a trailer’s-worth of huge canvases, and did I want some of them?

HELL YES!!!!!!!

So…

I’m back from Costa Rica filled with visions of the jungle… with 20 extra large canvases lining the walls of my studio.

And I’ve already begun painting them!

~~~

Now, I’ll turn the mirror on you:

What if today isn’t happening to you?

What if you are what’s happening today?

How are you showing up for yourself?

Will you take risks to create what you actually want?

Could you be the presence someone else has been quietly praying for?

What if you are the gift?

Feel free to drop me a line with your thoughts!

Am I spouting crazy woo woo nonsense, or do you believe me when I say:

“Thank you for reading. Your presence is a gift.”

Cheers,

Ryan