The Surrender Experiment

In 2022, my friend Leah suggested I read The Surrender Experiment.

So I got a copy, started reading… 

and hated it.

Michael A. Singer, the author, shares his epic story of “letting go and trusting life’s perfection.”

At every turn, life hands him unbelievable gifts, as if brought on the wings of angels.

Hundreds of acres of land. A spiritual community that grows around him. A billion dollar software company.

But when I read his story, I was at the lowest I’d ever been.

My software company had been hijacked and sold off by forces that pushed my cofounder and me out in drama and disrespect.

In the aftermath, my relationship with Kayla unraveled.

I was clinging to an existential rollercoaster trying to figure out why my life had jumped the rails. 

And here was this hippy-billionaire flaunting the gifts of his miraculous life!

Was hitting rock bottom my gift for surrendering to life’s flow?

When we started Community Funded in 2011, it felt just like Singer’s story – Every day brought unexpected miracles. 

Our small team evolved into an enterprise software company serving the biggest names in philanthropy. 

Our work helped thousands of people raise tens of millions of dollars for projects all over the world.

But that decade-long wave of serendipity crashed onto the rocks of capitalism and heartbreak.

I hated how Singer’s story mocked that pain like a distorted mirror.

Why did the universe create a billion dollar company for him, while ours was stripped to the floorboards and sold to the competition?

Where were the angels when we needed them?

I rage-quit his book and returned to nursing my wounds. 😤

Fast forward 3 years…

Last week a new friend mentioned The Surrender Experiment as one of the most influential books he’s ever read.

I reflexively shared my reaction to reading that book. 

But as I retold that old story of “life isn’t fair,” my words sounded hollow and silly.

I realized in shock that I no longer felt the heartbreak I was describing.

Where that pain used to be, I felt only gratitude, optimism, and joy for the life I’m living now.

It took time, but the same flow that sent me to rock bottom had also rebuilt my self worth, my relationship with Kayla, and my creative livelihood.

I glanced over at my bookshelf and there was The Surrender Experiment.

So I opened to the beginning, started reading…

And loved it. 

The book was the same, but I was completely different.

Before, I wasn’t able to see how Singer stayed open to whatever the universe brought… even when it didn’t match his preferences, identity, or the story he was telling himself.

These words really stood out:

“Do whatever is put in front of you with all your heart and soul without regard for personal results. Do the work as I if it were given to you by the universe itself – because it was.”

I’d surrendered to start a family and create a company, yes — but what I’d also created were rigid ideas about who I was, what I wanted… and why I deserved it.

Those were the ideas that came crashing down.

And while letting go of that identity was painful… its was totally transformative.

I’m finally relaxing into what is instead of torturing myself with what might have been.

And I’m far less obsessed with “figuring it out.”

Because the truly amazing thing about Singer’s story isn’t that things always worked out for him.

It’s that he kept believing in life’s perfection even when they didn’t.

***

So now, I’m curious about your reflections… Do you have a story or situation that came from surrendering, letting go, or showing up even when life didn’t go as  planned?

Feel free to send me a reply, text or pigeon 🕊️💌

Check out my newly updated website for a peek at what I’ve been up to!  👀

And here’s my recent interview in VoyageDenver Magazine!

Until next time – Cheers,

Ryan
🦁